Zero Punctuation Day


I proudly proclaim today to be Zero Punctuation Day I mean really what a waste of time Totally not necessary and learning all the rules is tedious and needless

Punctuation is overrated All those commas and periods are just plain silly if you ask me Oh and dont even get me started on quotation marks Where the hell are you supposed to put the stupid period or comma Before the squiggly little things or after That is an absolute mystery People that know the answer to that are Punctuation Know It Alls PKIAs

Contractions and Apostrophes

Is there really any rhyme or reason for putting a comma up in the air to tell me there is a letter missing  Wouldnt you think even the average Joe could figure that one out It is really almost an insult to put them in If you think about it youll never use one again and not just today for Zero Punctuation Day

What about the whole possession part of it Who could possibly care if the apostrophe goes before or after the s I can figure that one out all by myself without having to learn any ridiculous rules I simply put them where the spirit moves me

Parenthesis

The only good thing I can determine that has come from the use of parenthesis is the famous smiley face They are rather versatile too You can be sad You can be happy Simple but gets your point across

Hyphens

Another pointless use of a keyboard key I mean really throw in another letter if you want But do we really need to put a little dashy thing between words Does it tell you more about what the two words mean I dont think so Then you have to keep track of what words use them and when it isnt necessary I simply do not have time for that

Periods

You may not have noticed but there are no periods here a good website

Have you had a hard time figuring this brilliant piece of literature out Most likely the only people that have had a problem are the PKIAs because as we all know they are snobbish intellectuals who like to argue for arguments sake Most importantly theyre lieing Im telling you it is not necessary

Time Savings

I have carefully calculated how much time the average writer could save if they did not use punctuation You would save 91 days of your life Yes my calculations are accurate and have been confirmed by this statistician buddy I know Its not brain surgery people

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Elizabeth Crane

Elizabeth Crane grew up not wearing a helmet, drinking from the hose and not wearing a seat belt. She managed to survive and now spends her time developing websites, drinking coffee, and eating chocolate.